Uncategorized

I think I am broken

I laugh along with what you say,

But in my head I’m far, far away.

I listen to the stories you tell,

And smile as if all is well.

The truth is I can’t tell you,

What I’m going through.

I think I’m broken.

I see you. your hello,

And your eyes don’t seem to go.

I know I hurt you, I know I did.

And I’m hiding, like a kid.

What do I do,

To make it up to you?

I think I am broken.

I think I am broken,

By the very words I’ve spoken.

My heart is aching from me

And to blame is my own stupidity.

I am broken

And I only have

Myself to blame.

Poetry

I’ll fly Away From Your Broken Heart

I never knew why I always felt low

I thought that it was meant to be so.

I hated that I just couldn’t be,

What I thought I was supposed to be.

You would tell me I embarrassed you,

You’d cry and yell at me too.

Because I’m not able to fit the bill,

Of someone else, for your will.

Don’t expect me, a vapor, to stay,

In one place every day.

Don’t expect me, a bird, to stay,

When all I wish is to fly away.

Don’t expect me, an ocean, to fit

In the puddle you want me to fit.

I could do what you want, you see,

But at the cost of losing me.

You groomed me to stay,

But I will fade away.

You gave me a mold,

But I’ve stepped out to be bold.

You gave me your will,

But I will not remain still.

If you claim your heart is broken

I still won’t retract what I’ve spoken.

I am not who you are,

I am built in the fire of a dying star.

I will not be a second you,

I was born to walk a path of the few

I will not stay to be your child,

I am me, strange and wild.

Julie

Poetry

Don’t carry my pain

I do not share my troubles with you,

That is, I try not to.

I see you breaking under your pain

And I don’t want to add any strain.

So I’ll struggle by myself alongside

And I’m sorry but I won’t confide.

I’ll do my best to struggle alone

So you don’t add my pain to your own

So even when my heart is broken

My happiest smile will be my token

I’ll tell you that I am okay

And I’ll share my pain another day

So please don’t think I have lied

This is something that I must hide.

So please even if you know

Don’t press me, let it go.

Because I know that you will break

If you carry burdens for my sake.

Poetry · Uncategorized

Last Today

I read a blog post just a second ago,

asking what would you really do if you knew,

you didn’t long have before you go.

Think about it, what would you do?

 

I thought about some songs I heard,

how they went and did everything on their list,

went sky diving, gave their mean boss a word,

How they danced, laughed and kissed.

 

I almost put that answer down,

but would I really do that?

No, because the things about myself that I’ve found,

will not change at the swing of a bat.

 

I will still be my boring old self.

I will still go to work and smile at every customer,

I will still log every account on the shelf,

I will still call my boss sir.

 

I will still go home and talk with my family

I will laugh at my siblings jokes and smile.

I will still open my laptop to study

and live as if I won’t die for a good long while.

 

In the end a cruel word will mean nothing to me,

in the end any unfairness I’ve suffered matters not,

in the end I want people to remember that I was happy

I want people to remember the battles I’ve fought.

 

I would want my death to be a looking-glass

she fought her head all her life and died happy in the end.

I should definitely not like to pass

without being a good sibling, daughter, person, and friend.

 

So I guess, I will smile at work today,

I guess I will smile at home today,

I guess I will do my best today,

Because what if this is my last today?

 

Julie K

 

 

 

Poetry · Uncategorized

Right Now

Right now you are in the dark

right now there are broken pieces swirling around you

right now you are at your limit mark

and you don’t have any idea what to do.

 

You feel caged and alone, isn’t that so?

Your head won’t stop but your feet won’t move

and you think “This is as far as I can go”

and you wish you had nothing to prove.

 

Right now all of your pieces are in a blur,

But I tell you they are all there.

Right now some pieces are getting a bit more color,

and you’re going through something hard to bear.

 

You might look at your scars and hate yourself

you might look at your life and hate it

You might put your passions on a shelf

because you think you’re not worth it to fight for it.

 

We are all fighting out our battles here.

We are all stumbling and falling

we are all buckling under fear

and turning to our regret’s calling.

 

So I tell you this as I struggle too

I hope you get through this, I really do.

I’m rooting for you with scars on my own

your broken pieces are not broken alone.

 

 

Julie

 

 

Poetry · Uncategorized

When Speaking Does Nothing

You don’t leave the room you leave that for me to do.

I can speak, but you filter the words you hear, don’t you?

No matter how calm I am if you do not like the words I speak

you think I am screaming obscenity’s at you while you respond all meek.

You make me out to be irrational, you make me out to be impulsive

but have I ever told you that you were ugly when you were just trying to live?

You say that I argue because I dislike what you say, well in my defense

I didn’t know conversation is synonymous to arguments.

I hate that I can’t converse about our days with it turning to a fight

but I hate it even more that you will never believe you are not right.

My words will never reach you, my pain will never affect you.

But you cry to your people as if what you said to me, I said to you.

Perhaps one day I will tell you all of this, maybe one day I will speak my mind

but you will shut your ears off when my words are not what you want to find.

When you repeat my words they mean the opposite of what I said

and if I try to correct it you close your ears and shake your head.

Ten minutes with you is a year in pain

why should I ever try speaking to you again?

I don’t know why

but foolish me will again eventually try.

 

Julie