If I had listened to you all those years ago
I would have nothing to show
I would have killed myself by now
Without running on stage to take my bow
For all those times you made me bleed
That painful addiction, you made me feed
I wish I could throw you away, like you do me
But there is some good to you, I see.
So very many people have you in their heads
And every so often you lead them to deathbeds
And simply because I wrestled you those years
I hear your voice when my friends mention fears
I see your suffocating lies in their eyes
I feel it when their love for life dies.
Yes, because of you I suffered and still do
But also, I feel everything stronger too
I refuse to be beaten by your lies
I refuse to say my goodbyes
And if I have the power
I won’t run or cower
I want to put a smile on the faces
Of all the people you’ve turned into cases
I want to reach my hand out
To the people you’ve made doubt.
I am not strong, I have not won yet
But I must pay a debt
To the person who saved me when I was broken
That gave me the gift that silently has spoken
The gift of an escape that strays from death
The gift of stories on every breath.
So, as I was once attacked, I will fight back
and give all my love to those still on the rack
Their battles are different from my own, it’s true
but supporting them through
is the least I can do.